Sam's Seafood across the street was not closed, however, and had a sign that boasted "best grouper sandwich in town." I'll tell you what, that was the best grouper sandwich I have ever had in Pensacola, FL.
After that I thought it would be nice to go to a cheap motel, lay on a bed and watch TV.
Nope.
Consuela Garmin led the way to Travel Inn. Sounds safe enough right?
I went in and slid my $32 (20, 5, 4 x 1's, 7 quarters, 7 dimes, 9 nickels, 10 pennies) through the bullet-proof glass.
On the way to my room, across the street and around back to a parking lot walled in on three sides, I met five of the locals... Four of them asked if I was partyin' tonight: weed, coke or boys/girls? With one insisting that I was ripped off and should have stayed in his room. Would have only cost me $10.
Notice the duct tape over HBO
If I could just get to my room and lock my door, I'd be safe. Right?
Wrong.
My room did not have a lock. The dead bolt was missing. The latch was broken and the lock on the door knob did not latch.
Needless to say, I got the hell out of there.
When I told the sad looking man that I would not be staying and asked for my money back, he asked why. I told him my door did not lock. Not satisfied with my response, he asked if there were a lot of people out there, with a knowing look.
I nodded and he slid my money back.
On the way back to my car the first man I met came back up to me:
Hey man, you find your room?
Hey man, where you going?
Hey man, like weed?
Hey man, you gonna sleep in my room?
Hey man, gotta couple bucks, I can get a bowl of noodles.
After I was in my car, a woman with no teeth or clothes came up to me:
Hey man, come here.
Hey man, I need to talk to you.
NO YOU DON'T
Hey man, wanna f*ck?
Hey man, come back here!
F*ck you man!
I sped off to the nearest Walmart Bed 'n Breakfast, parked and listened to the rain soak Lucy through the night.
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